


Meet me, Brother, at the hanging tree

by LamentOfAFaerieGrl



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Eating Disorders, F/M, Fast and loose with Paganism, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki has massive issues, Loki loving Thor as a child, M/M, Reincarnation, Self Harming, Suicide, Thor Is a Good Bro, Wanda Needs a Hug, Wanda has massive issues, Wiccan tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 09:38:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12981297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LamentOfAFaerieGrl/pseuds/LamentOfAFaerieGrl
Summary: Loki and Wanda met under a shooting star or maybe it was just an airplane. Loki and Wanda sebrate under a Rowan tree. Loki and Wanda meet at each Sabbath. Loki tells Thor about the hanging tree, being gay, and whispers of hoping to be more than brothers. The thing they never tell you is, once you end it, time stands still for no one. Maybe someone should have told Loki.





	Meet me, Brother, at the hanging tree

Stark walked his own gala. He wasn't too shocked when Loki pulled just about everything he could to avoid going. He knew the God hated large groups. He didn't take it personal at all. He noticed everyone suddenly staring. He walked over to see what was going on.

Wanda took the offered hand of Loki. Stark was puzzled. Loki had refused to come yet here he was, and dancing with Wanda of all people. He noticed a snake bracelet on her left arm that seemed to match the snake cuff on Loki's left ear. Loki takes her by the hand and melts into the music with her. He could tell Loki was well versed in dance and noticed many women swooning over him. 

Stark noticed Steve and walked over. “You know what's up with Loki? I know he sometimes spills to you” Stark asked. “Vision dumped Wanda so Wanda was crying since she bought a very pricey dress for this event. Said she wasn't gonna go just to be gawked at. Loki offered to take her. Wanda thought he was mocking her and she threw some very cruel words at him. I expected Loki to walk away or something but instead he told her he knew far too much the sounds of broken promises whispered by devils. Wanda felt horrid for what she said. They made up on the spot and there he is. Keeping his word. Apparently, not only are they the only magick users, they are both the only left handed people on the team. I guess in some odd way, it endears them to each other. I just care that Loki behaves personally.” Steve answers. 

Loki had walked off to the DJ while Wanda got a drink. Stark checked on her but she seemed to be holding up okay. He starts to walk away when he hears her drop the drink. He turns to her as the song starts. “Wanda...?” Stark asks. “When...I first met Loki...I had asked him if...he knew the light falling was a falling star. You know...to make a wish. Loki said it didn't matter if it was a star or an airplane, all that mattered was that my wish was pure. Every since, Airplanes by B.O.B has been my teen cry-it-out song. Loki remembered a convo we had 2 years ago...” She says. Stark smiled, Loki had charm when he wanted to.

She looked at Loki, tears falling down her face. Loki understood. She ran into his arms and broke on him. Loki rubs her back as Vision walks towards them. Stark eyes him and Loki. He didn't want a war on his hands. Vision stops and narrows his eyes at Loki. Loki calls his magick to him. It wrapped around his shoulders as a large snake that hissed at Vision. Wanda steps to the side. 

“ I see...still all fang but no bite, Loki” He says calmly. “Why bite? It's a waste of good poison” Loki says with a drawl. “I see Wanda has made her choice” Vision says. “Choice?” Loki asks. “She choose you over me. Ditched a Knight for a Demon” He says. “I took her to the dance because she looked like a Goddess and it would have been a sin to not let her dance. As for me being a demon? Without my darkness, you can't see your beloved moon. Balance.” Loki says. “Did she tell you how she cried your name out during sex? How she would scream for you in the showers as she started to cut or make herself throw up to stay skinny? How she would call me by your name as she slept? Did she?” Vision says. “So your lady needed help, got none from you, and started to pray to a God to be spared? Good, I shall do all in my Godly powers to spare her any more pain. I'm a God you dull ant. Do not mock me” Loki says,warning. 

Vision gets into Loki's well known bubble. “I just see a teenager having a fit because he isn't good enough for even his own Mother” He says to Loki. Stark groans and starts to move towards them to end it before it starts. Loki just laughs. “Do tell me this is you appealing to my humanity! You think I have feelings? You think I give a fuck about thrones and pretty metal toys? Your a fucking ant to me, same with Thor, same with Odin. They mean nothing. I would gladly summon my Father from death and gut him with my bare hands!” Loki fumes at him. 

Wanda puts her hand on Loki's arm. Loki's eyes flicker to the touch. “Your nothing but a ball of emotions, Loki. Enjoy her until she finds a bigger demon to love. She has no support from me” Vision says. “You never deserved her in the first place” Loki says. “Why is that?” Vision asks, cocking his head to the side. “An ant has to quell with a boot. She is the one wearing the boot, you'll never be good enough to eve be a boot. You fated to be an ant your whole life” Loki says. Vision moves to make an attack, Loki laughs as 6 clones has a dagger at his vital spots on his body. “I'm the boot, your move, Vision” Loki says, mocking him. 

“Alright, Lokes, that's great and all but Fury is gonna murder me if you kill someone at my party. Thank you for defending Wanda's honor. Now drop the illusions.” Stark orders. Loki eyes him, Stark feels his blood turn to ice as the seconds tick by. Wanda shakes her head and puts her hand though one of the clones, making them all fade away. Loki tsks but doesn't make a move about it. “I want you to leave me be, Vision. I want my stuff back as well. You will also respect Loki as you do everyone else on our team. He is family now, and family loves freely. You never saw me wanting to die to join my twin brother. You never saw me with my eating disorder. You never heard my screams for death to take me away from it all. Loki did. He saw the marks and asked. He saw me not eating to days, and he asked. He saw my crying, and he asked. He told me about his mother, I told him about my brother. We told the other about the prison cells. We told the other about being hated and feared. I'm dying on the inside everyday, and Loki has already died. Yet, I see him smile at his books or talk excitedly about magick. Sometimes he even tells us about the stars above our heads. He showed me that after the Tower in the Tarot, is the Star. A card that promises hope. I'm a phoenix too scared to burn. I asked Loki to burn me, make me anew. I begged him to. Loki? He asked me to remove his chains. Is this love? Is this love love? I do not know. But I know we both shifted today. We want to be loved by the team, we crave it and we need it. “ Wanda says.

Vision makes a face and fades away. Stark and Steve look at Loki and Wanda. Neither really made that much of an effort. None saw them at team supper, none asked them to movie night, none took them on field trips. Always forgotten until someone needed a magickal fix. Both vowed to do better.

Wanda was nursing the hangover. Loki was in the kitchen, in a look nobody saw before. He had spiked his hair up, dyed the spikes neon green. He wore pentagram earrings in both ears. He had a band t-shirt, ripped up black skinny jeans with a scraft used as a belt that was all pentagrams. He wore army boots that says “ You says witch like its a bad thing” in sliver glitter sharpe. Loki had snake-themed arm warmers on to complete the look. Stark was staring. Punk Loki wasn't something he ever though he would see. Loki smirked into his hot tea as he walked by. 

Steve signed Wanda into getting help, he tried to rope Loki in as well but the God flipped him off and retired to his books. Steve wasn't going to let this drop. Loki needed help too he knew. He walked into the book floor. Loki was sitting on the window sill, wrapped in a green snake blanket. His hair back to normal and flowing loosely around his shoulders. Loki looked so young like this Steve felt. 

He noticed the very old book in Loki's hands and wondered where he got it. It was clearly too old to be one Stark provided for him. Loki's eyes flicker from the page to him and back to the page. Steve found it to be expected. Loki was jumpy even on good nights. “ You really should allow us to help. I know we dropped the ball all this time, Loki. Wanda is getting so much better.” Steve says. “Wanda always wanted to exist on some level. I've been chasing death for years. We're not fully the same people. But good for her,however” Loki says, turning a page.

Steve sighed and took a seat by Loki's legs. “Why not try for life, Loki? You got options now.” Steve asks. “She is only 21-22. I'm nearing 1,700 years old. She will fade away in 80 or so years. I could live as long as 5,000 years. That's a long time to fight this battle. I almost envy her.” Loki says, turning yet another page. “You will always have Thor, that's something” Steve points out. “Thor is off chasing Jane. They will marry, have kids, make her queen. Maybe even get her a golden apple. He has little need of his father's old relic. There is no further use of me.” Loki says. 

Steve sighed. Loki seemed to be happy with his demons in an odd sorta way. He calls the call out, gives Loki a nod and runs to the jet. Loki gives him an odd smile on the way out. It almost seemed to say “Goodbye” Steve felt. 

When they came back, he noticed the book Loki was reading is left on the blanket. He picks it up and sees it once belong to Frigga, Loki's mother. Steve sees no other sign of him. He calls out to Jarvis to find Loki. He takes the ride up to the garden and the smell of iron is over whelming. Steve pushes the doors open and runs to Loki who is laying in the grass at the foot of a Rowan tree. Steve shakes him, yelling his name over and over. The others run to Loki's side. Thor curses at the tree Loki choose.

“Thor? Does this tree mean anything?” Stark asks. “Rowan, it's said to protect both the Druids and Vikings from lightening...” Thor says. Stark feels sick, his eyes line up with Steve's as Bruce tries to bring Loki back. Wanda falls to her knees, screaming. Stark moves to shield her. Wanda bursts into tears, begging them to not let Loki go, begging them to save him and not let him die like her brother did. Bruce shakes his head at Steve and Stark as he lets go of Loki's left wrist. Wanda screams. 

Thor looks at the spell book Loki read over and over and over. He lays it on his brother's chest and steps back. Wanda looses it, her magick explodes from grief. Fury asks questions, wanting to know if Loki explained himself. Wanda holds Frigga's spell book, shell shocked as she watches it snow. Stark walks over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “We tried, Wanda. We offered him help many times. Sometimes, people just loose the will to fight. Loki had been screaming out for years before he came here. Maybe, wherever he is, he is finally without pain. I know it don't mean much to the living.” Stark says to her. “ I loved him, Stark. He asked me and I lied. To avoid Vision going after him. Maybe if I had told him, he would have stayed. What if...this is all my fault?” She says. “No, he knew how you felt. I think that was enough for him.” Stark says.

Thor stalks Loki's room, hoping and begging that he left a note. He pulls all the spell books down, flipping though every single one of them. He falls to the floor and just screams. He had made Loki promise not to chase after their Mother. They had survived Hela, they were brothers once again. Yet, Loki seemed to fall apart when he got back with Jane. He hears foot steps and looks up, thought his tears. Jane sits down infront of him. “You know, Loki is probably with his mother and for the first time, I bet he is so happy. I bet they are leaving a spot for you when the time comes. Loki was in so much pain, for so long. Let him rest in peace, Thor.” Jane says as she lays her hands on his own.

Wanda takes over Loki's spell books. She lays down Frigga's book by her pillow. Loki's green snake blanket sits on her chair. She had set-up an altar to Loki. She goes though the motions. Lighting an incense that Loki had said he loved and leaving an offering of a mug of warm tea. Wanda can't remember the last time she spoke. She just sat and read like Loki used to. Everyone says how sorry they are to her and Thor. It sounds fake to her. 

Yule had always been Loki's fav day of the year. As much as he hated his birthday, he loved all the greens and lights. Wanda stares at the tree. Dec 21, Loki's birthday. She watched the blizzard outside Stark tower as she mindlessly wraps gifts. It had been 3 months since Loki's passing. She catches herself making a gift for him as well. She blinks as she sees tear drops on the green wrapping. She writes his name anyways and places it under the tree. Steve and Stark both worry for her. She hadn't spoken a word since that night. Thor sees the gift later and smiles at it. He often worried he would forget his brother's name and then Loki would cease to have existed. 

The day comes and everyone opens their gifts. The one for Loki is left behind. Thor opens it last, for his brother. He sees Wanda had made a book of happy photos of Loki and the team. Pranks he did, Dreams he spoke of. Thor fights back the tears as he flips though the pages. Thor keeps the book close to him.

Winter seems to blur. Wanda steps outside for the first time since Loki died. She sees the first flowers of spring trying hard to push past the snow. Wanda kneels down and pushes the snow away. She blinks when she sees leather boots behind the flower. Loki's Asgard leathers. She blinks back tears as she sits up. Hoping it's true. She reaches a hand toward the figure. It had to be Loki. Loki died on Mabon and came back during Ostara, just like he had taught her about the God in Wicca. 

“Loki...please...Loki..I...love you” Wanda says. “I know” He says as he takes her hand. “Your alive..right?” She asks. “No” He says. Wanda chokes and looks into his green eyes. “Why...are you here then..?” Wanda asks. “It's Ostara, Wanda. Remember what I taught you?” Loki asks. “Yes, the Goddess promises the return of the Sun or God for those that believe in deity.” Wanda answers. “Very good, little Witch” He says. “Then...you can be return on Beltane...right,Loki?” She asks. “Wanda, I'm never coming back. I am so sorry for what I did. It was never about you or even Thor” Loki says. Wanda can't stop crying. “Please, Loki, take me with you...please...” Wanda begs. “No, you have many years left. I won't rob you of that. I've noticed you kept to the old rites. Mother has enjoyed your offerings greatly” Loki says. “There is no life without you or my Brother, Loki...” Wanda says. “Keep praying, Wanda, I will always listen to you” Loki says as he fades into raven feathers. Wanda falls to her knees as they blow away in the wind.

Thor sits on his throne. He has it all. A wife, a son and a kingdom fully alive. Yet, he feels hallow. He blinks a few times as he hears the sound of leather boots on the titles. He knows that sound anywhere. He runs after the sound and sees Loki standing by the old hanging tree. Loki had once told Thor, he would find him someday in the hanging tree. Thor had pleaded with him to explain. Loki came out as loving men, later to figure it out that he was bisexual, but a crime all the same. “Loki...” Thor says.

“The throne don't seem so cool while you look down from it, is it, Brother?” Loki asks. “No, it's hallow.” He says. “ You were always so ill suited for it” Loki says turning to his brother. “Loki, say your alive..please...I won't be mad..I promise.” Thor pleads. “No, Thor, I am dead. I'm using the holy day of Ostara to smooth you and Wanda. I'm not returning. I'm sorry, Brother.” Loki says. 'No...no..you come back...you put this right, Brother!” Thor yells. “I really did love her, you know? It started as a silly game. Piss off Vision, get some laughs. Then I realized she had thawed me out.” Loki says. “Loki...” Thor says. “Vision went into my head and made me live Mother's murder with me as the killer. It was the final straw. I gave up. It was never your fault nor Wanda's.” Loki explains. Thor eyes are wide. Loki cocks his head to the side, smiles sadly as he disappears. Thor screams out in heart break as the feathers fall though his hands.

Both walk though Spring in a daze. Both spent the season crying themselves to sleep. Vision admits to his deed and says he would do it all over again. Wanda sits in Frigga's old garden as Jane walks over with Thor's son. Wanda wonders what Loki would have made of it. The boy picks up an apple and offers it to the air. Wanda smiles at that. Jane takes the apple away. Wanda wonders why and walks to Loki's old room. He had more books than cloths Thor had joked. There Wanda finds the letter they had been searching for back in Dec. She runs to Thor with the letter. Both huddle by the fire place Loki had made with his magick.

[ I used to think the idea of suicide letters as silly teen drama. Now I find myself saying goodbye as if I'm some whiny 16 year old boy. What is there to say? Maybe you want a confession, Thor? Maybe a list of what I'm so fucked up? I have little to confess to and much too much to list. Can I say I am sorry? Maybe, in a way. You made me vow over Mother's grave. I had wanted to point out I never said goodbye to her, never got to. Father had forbidden it. But it would only start a fight.

And of Wanda? I almost dreamed, almost dared to, Brother. The wife, the kids, the crown on both our heads. Our children playing together. Then I made my first error. Jane had made plans to push me out. I mused on telling on her but it seems silly. Now I'm sitting here. Bleeding out and it all seems like one big joke.

I've been raped almost yearly since I was 12 years old, I've been murdered by my own hands and even got cursed by Hela. Your sister is a bitch by the way. But as I lay here dying, I realize just how much I am nearly drooling at the freedom being offered. 

I truly did love her, Brother. But love isn't always enough. You can't love me whole nor can she. Maybe someday we'll sit at mother's feet together and I can remember how much I loved you, how much I once dreamed of laying under your sheets. 

But for now, I have only one request. I know this is utterly unfair after what I just did. Don't chase me. Live. Live like torrow isn't a promise. Live like you only got one hour left. Live just to spit all those that hate you. Live gloriously so when we meet up, you have tales and tales to tell me. Live loud, live in such a way that they write new myths for us. Raise your hand to the skies and dare them to knock you down. Don't make my mistakes. ]

Wanda looks at Thor who is ugly crying. He never knew that Loki had loved him nor the rapes. How could he have been so blind!?!

Beltane comes without mercy. Wanda uses her hand to block the sun out as she walks down the New York city streets. Its all in the news. King and queen break up. Wanda doesn't see the man as she bumps into him. She starts to fall down but he pulls her back up by the wrist. “I'm so sorry! The sun is just too damn bright...” Wanda says. “It is, isn't? Shame Thor can't make it rain” The man says. Wanda lowers her hands, to see green eyes she knows all too well. “Loki...” She says, covering her mouth. The man laughs at that. 'Your the 3rd person to call me that. I guess I kinda look the part. Minus all the cool powers. “ The man says. “Who are you then...?” Wanda asks. 

“Hmm....good question. I don't know. I actually don't know anything. Woke up with a killer headache and sudden need to find someone with red hair. Sounds like out of some cheesy romance novel. “He says, cocking his head to the side. His black hair falling like silk on his shoulders. “I see today is Beltane. I hear its a great day to be reincarnated” He says with abit of a wink at her. Her eyes widen as she runs into his arms. “Loki!” She shouts. 

She sends the word to Thor and Thor hops a jet from Norway to New York City. Frigga's old spell book in his arms as he walks towards the man Wanda swears is Loki. The man turns to Thor and sees the book. Thor puts it into Loki's arms. “This belongs with you, Brother.” Thor says. “I...have a brother?” the man asks. “Yes, I've waited so long to see you again.” Thor says. The man flips though the pages and lands on the one for first starts. He reads the words aloud. Thor smiles as he sees green lights come from the man's hands. He drops the book on the grass and stares at his hands.

Thor sees the old Loki stand before the man. “Why do we look the same? What's going on? What am I!” The man screams. “Your me and for that, I truly pity you. But know this. You are a God, a prince and one hell of a little shit. You also got an annoying stupid old brother with the worse taste in girls. Stay away from Hela, she is a bitch. Enjoy try #2, Me. May this time be free of so much suffering...” He says as he fades away, having finished his task.

“I'm....Loki...of Asgard..?” he says. Thor nods. “Like the Nordic stories..?” he asks. Thor nods again. “What..am I? Am I another stolen relic, Brother? Am I the monster father taught us? Am I..am I...” He asks. “Your my brother, a powerful Mage, the protector of children and the one who saved Asgard from Hela. Your a King of your own land, Brother, and your so loved, you have no clue.” Thor answers him.

Loki looks at Wanda. “And, of you?” He asks. “I'm your little Witch and I love you and wish to spend the rest of my days with you, in whatever way you allow” She says, taking his hands into her's. “And..what way do you wish me?” He asks. “My husband, the father of my future children” She says. “You..love me...love me?” he asks. “Always” she says as she leans up and kisses him.

He feels the heat for the first time, feeling the ice in his veins melt. He leans into the kiss, holding her close to him. Willing her to be real, and for this to be real. After holding back nearly 1,700 years worth of tears, he starts to cry. Thor holds him close as Loki cries. Wanda turns to see the team show up. She smiles and steps aside so they can see Loki.

Loki looks at them. He had no memories of New York nor of the team. Stark chokes abit and walks up to the reborn God. “How about, you don't scare us like that ever again,Lokes?” Stark says. “I...I..don't know what your talking about” He says. “No memories?” he asks. Loki nods. “On Mabon last year, you killed yourself” He says. Loki's eyes widen and he looks at Thor. “You did...by a Rowan tree no less” Thor explains. “I..choose to come back?” He asks Thor. “I don't know sadly but I'm glad your here, my Brother.” Thor says.

Loki moves into the tower and he tries to remember. Wanda takes him aside and offers him something. Both move out of the tower into an apartment of their own. Thor gives them the blessing and Stark happily pays the rent for them. 

The next Yule, a third member of the family shows up. Thor stares as a little girl stands, holding Loki's fingers. She had Loki's green eyes but Wanda's red hair. He falls at her feet. The girl smiles at him and offers him her stuff wolf plushie. Thor looks at Loki, in awe of the little girl he created. “What's her name, Brother?” “Lily, like Mom's favorite flower” he answers. “When did Wanda..?” He asks. “No, Brother, I birthed her in my body. Wanda has some medical issues that make giving birth too dangerous. So I'm the Mother.” Loki explains. “Her father?” Thor asks. 'Me, Bruce took my male seed with Wanda's eggs and put them into my female form. Yay for science bros, am I right?” Loki says with a grin. 

Loki hands Lily to Wanda and steps onto the roof with Thor. “Do you remember why you came back, Brother?” “Yes” Loki answers. Thor turns to him. “I loved Wanda too much to stay dead. I asked Mother to rebirth me. She agreed. The Gods asked me to be the God of Earth, and ties myself to it to forever protect it. I agreed. They sent me back. Now I have a wife and a child. I can't say for sure if I regret ending it or not. I think I needed to loose everything to see what really matters. I need you more than ever, Thor.” Loki explains. Thor grins and hugs Loki. “Does that mean I get to be Uncle to Lily?” Thor asks. Loki laughs and nods to him. Both look up and see a falling star. Completing the cycle.

**Author's Note:**

> The message? Suicide is NOT the answer. I suffer from the urges myself. But the mortal of the story? Don't do it. Get help in any way you can. Death is a premate solution to a temporary problem, even tho it may feel forever.


End file.
